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Dearest Friend,

It is with deep sense of purpose and utmost sincerity that I write this letter to you knowing full well how you will feel as regards to receiving a mail from somebody you have not met or seen before. There is no need to fear, I got your address from a business directory which lends credence to my humble belief. I also assure you of my honesty and trustworthiness.

I am the Chairman of a prominent hedge fund and I’m currently vacationing in Nigeria. I am taking this most auspicious opportunity to enlist your help in a matter of great importance. My hedge fund has $10,000,000,000 which was frozen after the untimely bankruptcy of Lehman Brother Holdings Inc. Our investors, some of which are charitable institutions or institutions of higher learning, are getting most anxious and desperately need the money to help others. For your assistance, sir, the investors have decided to bless you with one third of the above stated sum.

Be rest assured that this transaction, like all others involving our hedge fund, is 100% risk free as all modalities have been put in place for a smooth and successful conclusion. However, should you be interested in assisting us, I will not hesitate to furnish you with the access code to our London account, code which you will present at the Bank of England.

We pray God touches your heart to see the urgency and importance of this pending mutually beneficial transaction. I have asked my dear friend, Sir Sambujang Jammeh, the personal Assistant to Mohammed Abacha (the eldest son of the late Nigerian Head of State, General Sani Abacha) to assist you in this transaction. We would go to await your swift response. Please, note that if you cannot help I will not wish to be insulted, just save your time and do not reply.

Most sincerely,

Desmond Richard-Farnsworth

Editor’s Note:  Our website has not been hijacked by Nigerian scam artists.  Thanks to all who have expressed concern that we have taken leave of our editorial senses. 

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